By
Dominic I. Sanchez
ZAMBOANGA
CITY – September 21 to 28 is celebrated as Family Week.
Part of the advocacy of government and non-government organizations is the
“FaMealy”, which, in essence, underscores the importance of every member of a
family to partake meals together, as often as possible.
True
enough, many families these days tend to overlook the importance of a
meaningful family mealtime, particularly due to the hectic schedules that each
member is constrained in. Fathers and mothers tend to come home late because of
the taxing work; others would have to remain abroad and away from their
children leaving other people to tend to the children. On the other hand,
children in school would have extracurricular activities – engaging in sports,
debate contests, theatre and others – that would have to eventually sacrifice a
family dinner.
Realities in families
Aileen
Espiritusanto of San Jose Gusu is a nurse and a mother of 2 children. She
shared that her current graveyard shift would make it impossible to have dinner
with her family. Her husband works in Abu Dhabi, United Arab Emirates as an
engineer. “It is a good thing that my mother, their lola is around. But on my
days off, ta pikura gad yo man bonding kame kay teenager ya el uno,” (I make it
a point to bond with my children on my days off, they are now teenagers) shares
Aileen.
Aileen’s
situation is not unlike many other families’.
Irene,
a social worker from barangay Sta. Maria and a solo parent says she barely
recognizes her 16-year-old son now. “The yaya says he goes home at 10 or 11
every night, and he says that there is always basketball practice, but his
attitude has really changed,” shares Irene. She adds that the boy rarely speaks
to her anymore, and locks himself up in his room whenever he is home. Irene is
assigned in one of the municipalities in Zamboanga Sibugay province and only
gets to come home every weekend – sometimes not at all.
“Wala
akong choice, kailangang maghanap-buhay,” (I don’t have a choice, I have to
work) she said. Irene makes it a point to have a family bonding with her boy
whenever she’s around. “I make up for it by taking him to the movies, going to
dinner, inviting his friends over our home and I would prepare snacks for them.
I just feel that I need to make double my efforts, I want to be part of my
child’s growing up.”
Consequences of no
“faMEALy” time
Parents
need to be part of the growing up process of their children, especially when
they reach adolescence, when the kids may join peer groups that have a negative
influence on them. Studies have shown that there is really no substitute to a
meaningful family mealtime. Having less and less of it can lead to unwanted
consequences.
One
such study by the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia
University revealed that teenagers who rarely eat together with their families
particularly in dinner are more prone to use illegal drugs, and pick up vices
such as smoking and drinking.
Cases
of drug abuse among teens are common in Zamboanga City. According to Philippine
Drug Enforcement Agency (PDEA) regional operations chief Marvin Santos, teenage
drug users are not uncommon. “There are many times, during our operations that
we apprehend teenagers for drugs.”
City
Police Director Sr. Supt. Angelito Casimiro had earlier related a case where
the parents of a teenager were in fear of their lives because of their child’s
erratic behavior due to drugs.
Drug
abuse is only one of the problems that can arise due to less or no family
interaction, especially among teenagers, the Columbia study emphasized.
Benefits of the
‘faMEALy’
Another
study by the University of Michigan showed that children’s characters build up
more through family interaction and consistent family mealtime, than in time
the kids spend studying, or even in Church.
Aside
from social and emotional benefits, eating together brings about good health
habits. Said a study by the University of Minnesota, published in The Archives
of Pediatrics and Adolescent Medicine in August 2004, “frequent family meals
are related to better nutritional intake, and a decreased risk for unhealthy
weight control practices and substance abuse”.
These
studies together emphasize one thing, summed up by the words of Ron Afable in
theasianparent.com: “Eating together brings back everyone to the true essence
of what a family is: sharing, communicating, fun and belonging – on a daily
basis”.